Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:4. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:4

“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

In the New Testament; responsibilities and duties in relationships fall to all parties.

Not only are children required to obey their parents, the parents have an equal responsibility to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord .

The word translated as” fathers” in many translations can equally mean simply “parents.”

There is a tendency in many cultures to treat children as objects or possessions, if not as inconveniences. In such situations, children have few, if any of the rights that adults may have. In the christian community, however, children are to be treated as people made in the image of God.

Parents are firstly encouraged to not provoke the children to anger. This simple phrase covers a wide range of possible areas.

Discipline that is seen as unfair or excessive will breed resentment in a child. Children generally have an idea of what is fair behaviour by people in authority. If one child is treated differently from a sibling, or if a parent goes overboard in punishment, anger is going to take root in the heart of the child.

Parents have the capability of inflicting all kinds of abuse in a child – sexual, physical, or emotional. Clearly this is unthinkable behaviour for christian parents who are required to love their children as they love themselves.

Some parents can lash out in rage against their children over the smallest of infractions. This is not discipline but abuse.

There will be times when parents will necessarily or accidentally provoke a child to anger. What is in view here is the routine and regular stirring of conflict.

Parents must empathise with their children. Love is about seeing another person from their own perspectives and not just from our own limited point of view.

Rather than a hostile or dismissive approach which generates anger in their children, parents are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The idea of bringing up a child suggests an active process. We do not ignore our children and expect them to work out the world for themselves. We provide them with food and shelter and meet their other physical and emotional needs. Beyond this, we invest ourselves in their growth towards maturity. We seek out what they need to help them grow.

We bring them up in the discipline of the Lord. We teach them the boundaries of life that are apart of living the christian life. We teach our children to consider other people, how to share, how to pray, how to worship, and so on.

The discipline of the Lord is the process of walking in discipleship to Jesus. This discipling is not optional for parents. Their first and most important ministry is to their children.

The Lord disciplines those whom he loves (Hebrews 12:6), and so parents must discipline their children so that they grow up to love the Lord and love their neighbours.

The instruction of the Lord is about teaching children the Word and the doctrines of the faith. Regular reading of Scripture and family worship times are essential duties for parents. It is not acceptable for parents to contract this out to the church, expecting children’s ministers and Sunday School teachers to fulfil this parental responsibility.

Having performed this responsibility, parents should not expect their children to be guaranteed to follow the Lord in their adult years. We can sow the seeds of the faith in their hearts, but ultimately every person must make the choice for themselves to embrace the gospel.

Key points in this verse:

• Christian parents must discipline their children fairly so as not to provoke them to anger
• We must see children as people who are made in the image of God
• Parents have a responsibility to invest themselves in bringing up the children
• Discipline in the Lord means that we set the right boundaries for our children
• We must instruct our children and teach them the ways of the lord
• Parents must not outsource to the church their own responsibilities

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:2-3. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:2-3

“Honour your father and mother- this is the first commandment with a promise- “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

The instruction to obey parents is now backed up by reference to the Ten Commandments. “Honour your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

In the New Testament age, the Jews were scattered around the nations, and many did not understand Hebrew. The version of the Old Testament most widely known was the Greek version called the Septuagint. This version was not only translated from Hebrew to Greek, it was adapted a little for the readers who were dispersed and not located only in Israel.

This verse as quoted by Paul is the Septuagint version which replaces “ the land the Lord is giving you” with “ the earth”. From being a promise that originally meant that honouring parents would enable the Hebrew people to live long in Israel, it is now a promise for an extended lifespan regardless of geographic locaiton.

For any nation, orderly and stable family relationships are basic. We know in our own situation that single parent families are generally less stable and less prosperous then families headed by a married couple. For all kinds of reasons, a broken family leads to shorter lifespans.

This is more than a promise to individuals. It is a promise to people groups. Formation of stable families leads to stronger communities, more resilient in the face of natural disaster and conflicts .

Children can understand that if they obey their parents, they can contribute to the stability and prosperity of the family through the blessing of the lord.

There has been some questioning of the statement by Paul that this is the first commandment with a promise. They point to the second commandment regarding idolatry: “ You shall not make for yourself any Idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of their parents, to the third and fourth generations of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who loves me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:4-6)

This commandment is not so much a promise as a statement about the nature of God. He does punish those who commit iniquity and He does bless those who obey him, and both of these consequences go through generations.

Another explanation of this is that the structure of Paul’s sentence allows a translation along the lines of “This is a commandment of priority for you and it has a promise.”

However we interpret the meaning of this verse, it is true that there is a promise for all who honour their parents. God promises that things will go well for us and we will live long in the earth.

One may ask what are the boundaries of the command to obey or honour one’s parents? As was stated in the previous verse, we must not obey our parents at the expense of obeying Christ. However, we can, and should, maintain a disposition of honour even while maintaining our fidelity to the Lord.

Key points in these verses:

• Honouring parents is one of the Ten Commandments that carries a promise
• Stable families lead to longer life and prosperity, as well as to stronger communities