Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:4. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:4

“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

In the New Testament; responsibilities and duties in relationships fall to all parties.

Not only are children required to obey their parents, the parents have an equal responsibility to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord .

The word translated as” fathers” in many translations can equally mean simply “parents.”

There is a tendency in many cultures to treat children as objects or possessions, if not as inconveniences. In such situations, children have few, if any of the rights that adults may have. In the christian community, however, children are to be treated as people made in the image of God.

Parents are firstly encouraged to not provoke the children to anger. This simple phrase covers a wide range of possible areas.

Discipline that is seen as unfair or excessive will breed resentment in a child. Children generally have an idea of what is fair behaviour by people in authority. If one child is treated differently from a sibling, or if a parent goes overboard in punishment, anger is going to take root in the heart of the child.

Parents have the capability of inflicting all kinds of abuse in a child – sexual, physical, or emotional. Clearly this is unthinkable behaviour for christian parents who are required to love their children as they love themselves.

Some parents can lash out in rage against their children over the smallest of infractions. This is not discipline but abuse.

There will be times when parents will necessarily or accidentally provoke a child to anger. What is in view here is the routine and regular stirring of conflict.

Parents must empathise with their children. Love is about seeing another person from their own perspectives and not just from our own limited point of view.

Rather than a hostile or dismissive approach which generates anger in their children, parents are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The idea of bringing up a child suggests an active process. We do not ignore our children and expect them to work out the world for themselves. We provide them with food and shelter and meet their other physical and emotional needs. Beyond this, we invest ourselves in their growth towards maturity. We seek out what they need to help them grow.

We bring them up in the discipline of the Lord. We teach them the boundaries of life that are apart of living the christian life. We teach our children to consider other people, how to share, how to pray, how to worship, and so on.

The discipline of the Lord is the process of walking in discipleship to Jesus. This discipling is not optional for parents. Their first and most important ministry is to their children.

The Lord disciplines those whom he loves (Hebrews 12:6), and so parents must discipline their children so that they grow up to love the Lord and love their neighbours.

The instruction of the Lord is about teaching children the Word and the doctrines of the faith. Regular reading of Scripture and family worship times are essential duties for parents. It is not acceptable for parents to contract this out to the church, expecting children’s ministers and Sunday School teachers to fulfil this parental responsibility.

Having performed this responsibility, parents should not expect their children to be guaranteed to follow the Lord in their adult years. We can sow the seeds of the faith in their hearts, but ultimately every person must make the choice for themselves to embrace the gospel.

Key points in this verse:

• Christian parents must discipline their children fairly so as not to provoke them to anger
• We must see children as people who are made in the image of God
• Parents have a responsibility to invest themselves in bringing up the children
• Discipline in the Lord means that we set the right boundaries for our children
• We must instruct our children and teach them the ways of the lord
• Parents must not outsource to the church their own responsibilities

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:2-3. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:2-3

“Honour your father and mother- this is the first commandment with a promise- “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

The instruction to obey parents is now backed up by reference to the Ten Commandments. “Honour your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

In the New Testament age, the Jews were scattered around the nations, and many did not understand Hebrew. The version of the Old Testament most widely known was the Greek version called the Septuagint. This version was not only translated from Hebrew to Greek, it was adapted a little for the readers who were dispersed and not located only in Israel.

This verse as quoted by Paul is the Septuagint version which replaces “ the land the Lord is giving you” with “ the earth”. From being a promise that originally meant that honouring parents would enable the Hebrew people to live long in Israel, it is now a promise for an extended lifespan regardless of geographic locaiton.

For any nation, orderly and stable family relationships are basic. We know in our own situation that single parent families are generally less stable and less prosperous then families headed by a married couple. For all kinds of reasons, a broken family leads to shorter lifespans.

This is more than a promise to individuals. It is a promise to people groups. Formation of stable families leads to stronger communities, more resilient in the face of natural disaster and conflicts .

Children can understand that if they obey their parents, they can contribute to the stability and prosperity of the family through the blessing of the lord.

There has been some questioning of the statement by Paul that this is the first commandment with a promise. They point to the second commandment regarding idolatry: “ You shall not make for yourself any Idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of their parents, to the third and fourth generations of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who loves me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:4-6)

This commandment is not so much a promise as a statement about the nature of God. He does punish those who commit iniquity and He does bless those who obey him, and both of these consequences go through generations.

Another explanation of this is that the structure of Paul’s sentence allows a translation along the lines of “This is a commandment of priority for you and it has a promise.”

However we interpret the meaning of this verse, it is true that there is a promise for all who honour their parents. God promises that things will go well for us and we will live long in the earth.

One may ask what are the boundaries of the command to obey or honour one’s parents? As was stated in the previous verse, we must not obey our parents at the expense of obeying Christ. However, we can, and should, maintain a disposition of honour even while maintaining our fidelity to the Lord.

Key points in these verses:

• Honouring parents is one of the Ten Commandments that carries a promise
• Stable families lead to longer life and prosperity, as well as to stronger communities

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:1. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:1

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Paul moves from the mutual submission of husbands and wives to the relationship of parents and their children.

In many parts of the ancient world, children were not regarded as autonomous individuals as they often are in the modern world. They were generally seen as empty vessels which needed to be filled with the family’s ways and values. For example, a father would train a son in his trade in the expectation that the son would grow up to help run the family enterprise, and perhaps take it on himself at some stage. A good child was one who became a copy of his father.

The word used for child here is the Greek word teknon, which can mean a son or daughter of any age. Children have a responsibility to “obey” their parents even when they themselves are adults.

The word translated as “obey” in many English translations actually has the broader sense of paying attention or listening. To obey means that we listen and then follow an instruction.

While young children need to understand the importance of obeying their parents, for those who are adults themselves the emphasis is on listening and paying attention. As adults, we still have obligations to our parents, but this obligation is more aligned with listening to their experience and gaining wisdom from them.

To obey our parents in the Lord means that we should count acts of obedience as a service to the Lord. Little children may not have too many opportunities to serve the Lord, but obeying parents is one such way.

Remembering that this letter is written to a church, it is probable that most children hearing this instruction would be from homes where at least one parent is themselves a follower of Jesus. To obey parents ”in the Lord,” then, means to believe that the parents are acting on behalf of the Lord in their intentions and instructions.

For older children and adults, the expression “in the Lord” is a reminder that all of our decisions have to be weighed up against the requirements of God. Our faithfulness to our family must never lead to sinning against the Lord. Our first loyalty is always to Christ.

Paul concludes this verse with the words ”for this is right.” It is the morally correct thing to obey our parents. We teach our children from a very young age that it is right to obey those in authority. We may later question the rightness of parents and other authorities in some of these decisions. However, our first response should be that it is right to obey.

To question and disregard all the instructions of people in authority leads to lawlessness in which everybody does what they like in the moment. This is contrary to God’s plan for humanity.

Key points in this verse:

• Children of all ages should listen to their parents
• To obey our parents is a way in which we may obey the Lord
• Adults need to obey their parents to the extent that they do not contradict the way of the Lord

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:32-33. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:32-33

“This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.”

These verses serve a summary of what has gone before in terms of marital relationships and the mutual submission of husband and wife.

The unity between a man and a wife (“one flesh”) is a great mystery, Paul writes. A mystery is something hidden but now revealed. To understand the relationship of a husband and wife needs the illumination of Christ’s relationship with the Church.

These two things, the human marital relationship and the relationship of Christ to His Body, illuminate and explain each other . It is not surprising that the Church is described as the Bride of Christ (see for example Revelation 19).

Christ is the Head of His church and He exercises that by first dying for it. The headship of a husband with respect to his wife starts with the husband laying his life down, and only then can he exercise leadership in a loving relationship.

When we see the deep love and united vision of a husband and a wife, our eyes are opened to the unity that exists between Christ and the church.

This interplay between the two realities is shown by the way Paul freely changes from one to the other in this entire section.

So Paul concludes with the exhortation for each man to love his wife and for each wife to respect her husband.

Though Paul uses different words – love and respect- the illustration of Christ and the church shows that they are the same idea in practice.

Christ died for his church; but the church dies to Christ in order to be born again. Both husband and wife lay down everything for the other.

Paul again uses the word agape as the love that husbands should have for their wives. This is the love that God shows towards us, his people. It is the unfailing love that gives regardless of the worthiness of the recipient. Husbands must seek to love their wives with the agape love of God.

Wives are to respect their husbands. The word here is phobos . It literally means fear. This is not the terror kind of fear, but the kind of fear with which we are told we should fear God and those in authority over us. It is the respect that is given because of the status of the person.

In any event, to love a wife includes respect. Respect for a husband also involves loving them.

Key points in this verse:

• The unity of husband and wife reflect the love between Christ and His church
• Headship comes from a place of self sacrifice
• The love and respect which husbands and wives are exhorted to show overlap and become the same thing.

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:31. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

At last Paul quotes the scripture, Genesis 2:24, that he has been considering all through this discussion about husbands and wives.

This single verse is the most profound sentence describing the reality of God’s plan for marriage in all of the Bible. It is so all-encompassing that Jesus did not need to add to it in his teaching.

Genesis 2:24 comes at the completion of the creation story. The woman was created from a rib taken out of Adam. It is “for this reason” that a man and a woman are joined and become one flesh. Adam and Eve were created as “ one flesh”, and marriage is in a sense a consummation of this origin.

For Christians and Jews alike, marriage is an existential institution. It goes to the heart of what it means to be human.

Marriage, then, is more than a social construct or a convenient way of binding people together for the purpose of rearing children. It is far more than a contract between equal adults and something that can be left at will.

This verse underlies the reluctance of the church to embrace divorce.”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:9). If a man and a woman have been joined by God as one flesh, than any divorce is a judgement that God was wrong.

The same verse speaks against adultery and the plethora of sexual sins humans have imagined. To commit adultery is to sin against one’s own spouse and therefore one’s own flesh, as well as those of the other party. In Genesis 1, creation is described as separating things that should not be mixed, but adultery is seen as a destructive force that mixes together bonds and people that should not be mixed.

Marriage in the Scriptures is always about one man and one woman. Where polygamy is practised, it is seen as destructive because it runs against the “one flesh” narrative.

Similarly, same sex “marriage” is not just an abomination, but a contradiction. A man and a woman can become one flesh, but two men or two women cannot. Therefore, to call such a relationship a marriage runs against God’s intention.

To speak of a man and a woman as being “one flesh” is not linked only to the sexual relationship or even just to the wider sense of physical intimacy that couples enjoy. To be “ one flesh” means to share the same goals, vision, and mission in life. While they may have divergent interests and abilities, they will submit their life ambitions to the Lord and to one another, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead their joint enterprise. A husband and wife should see themselves as a team called into existence by God for a purpose that is greater than their individual purposes.

An example of this might be a nurse and engineer who see as a couple mission opportunities that complement and support one another. A wife with a strong prophetic ministry might empower a husband who is pastoral, and vice versa.

For a couple to be one flesh they must first leave their father and mother. While our relationships and obligations to parents remain after we marry, we must never allow allegiances to our parents get in the way of joining to our spouse. We must leave in order to cleave, to quote from an older translation of this verse.

Parents also must allow their children to leave, letting go of their emotional ties. There is no surer way to undermine a marriage then for parents to relentlessly intervene.

Key points in this verse:

• Marriage is an expression of the original creation of Adam and eve
• Divorce is a tearing apart of the single body formed in marriage
• Adultery and other sexual sins betray our own bodies as well as those of others
• Same sex “marriage” is a contradiction in terms
• Children must leave her parents in order to be joined to their spouse

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:29-30. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:29-30

“For no one ever hates his own body, but he know where is it and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church, because we are members of his body.”

Paul continues his instructions to husbands regarding their wives, and the analogy of Christ and the church.

No one ever hates his own body. It is in our self-interest to care for our body in the best way possible.

We nourish our body, doing what we can to make sure that we eat quality food and try to get the quantity right. In the ancient world, food security was not a known concept. There were periods of plenty, and periods drought or war made food scarce. Our problem is that there is always more than enough available to nourish the body which means that we have to choose the way of discipline.

We tenderly care for our bodies. When we are sick or injured, we seek out medical help. When we have pain we might change our work habits or the way we walk in order to minimise the pain. We tenderly care for our bodies because we know they are essential to our well-being.

Paul is saying that men need to treat their wives in the same way that they treat their own bodies. To love your wife is to love yourself (see v. 28), so therefore care for her with the same diligence that you care for your own body.

Just as a man takes a proactive attitude to his body (nourishing it) as well as a defensive or reactive approach (tenderly caring for it), a husband must both encourage or edify his wife, as well as protecting or reacting to threats of spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.

In this view of the marital relationship, all forms of domestic violence – coercion, physical abuse, emotional control, and financial deprivation – are prohibited. We don’t hate our own bodies, so how could a husband hate his wife? Domestic violence is not the topic here, but it is certainly within the scope of this “one flesh” analogy.

Paul now switches back to the relationship of Christ to the church. Christ loves his Body. He nurtures it and tenderly cares for it. We would not expect anything else from the one who came down and died to redeem the church. Having done that, He would, of course, continue to look after it.

So Christ nourishes the Body through the Word which is the Bread of Life. The Bible, when made freely available to the Body of Christ and preached faithfully by its pastors, provides all the requirements to sustain the life of the church.

The ministers of the church – the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers (Ephesians 4:1)- tenderly care for the body, providing protection from the attacks of the devil, as well as building up the weak and hurting parts of the Body.

All Christians are members of Christ’s body. Every believer has been Incorporated into this cosmic entity called the Church or the Body of Christ.

There is no such thing as an “ordinary” christian, any more than there is an “ordinary” husband or wife. We are all handcrafted masterpieces created for a purpose. Our membership of this Body affects our relationships, particularly marriage, and is not just for our heavenly destiny.

There are no “Lone Ranger” christians living apart from the Body, any more than there are legs or arms, eyes or noses, that live apart from a human body. We all belong to something much bigger than ourselves.

Key points in this verse:

• Husbands must care for their wives with as much diligence as they care for their own bodies
• We nourish and tenderly care for our bodies so therefore we must build up and protect our wives
• Christ cares for His Body in the same wayMinisters help to tenderly care for the body of Christ
• All Christians are members of Christ’s Body and cannot thrive apart from it

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:28. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:28

“In the same way men should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Just as Christ loves the church and continues to make the church holy, so husbands must love their wives.

The word used for love here is not eros, the normal word for romantic love, but agape, the love that God has for his people. Christian husbands are not to love their wives because they are attracted to them physically, but because their wives are to be loved. Agape love gives for the sake of the beloved. It never gives up and does not keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13).

Marital love then is to mirror God’s love in being perfect and unchanging.

Just as we love our own bodies, husbands are to love their wives. We are usually acutely aware of the needs of our bodies, whether we are hungry, thirsty, hot or cold, distressed, or in pain. We unconsciously monitor the state of our bodies with our various senses. When something is awry we take remedial steps. We might even take preventive steps, for example putting on a coat before we get too cold.

Husbands should have the same awareness of the needs of their wives that we have for our own body. This includes not just the bodily needs, but also the emotional, social, and spiritual needs that she has.

This is not to suggest some kind of controlling policy where the husband micromanages every part of his wife’s life, being the sole provider of everything she might need.

Rather, this is a sensitivity to a wife’s needs in the same way that we are sensitive to our own needs.

The question that is at the heart of this instruction is, “How can I help my wife to flourish and become all that God wants her to be?”

In verse 31, Paul explicitly references Genesis 2:24. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” But already in this verse this reference is hinted at in the expression that a man who loves his wife loves himself.

The “ one flesh” description of marriage is more than the shallow “happy wife happy life” mantra. It suggests that in marriage a spiritual union is made under the hand of God. This union means that marriage is more than a convenience or a legal institution.

Unity in marriage is such that when one partner flourishes so does the other. When one is struggling so is the other. The marriage bond is more than two individuals coming together. It is a new creation.

Key points in this verse:

• husbands are to love their wives in the same way Christ loves the church
• husbands must love their wives with the self-giving agape love of god
• husbands should concern themselves above all with their wife’s physical, spiritual and emotional well-being

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:27. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:27

“… so as to present the church to himself in splendour, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind – yes so that she might be holy and without blemish.”

In the previous verses, we read that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy. Now the ultimate purpose of this is so that He can present the church to Himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish .

Paul has a high view of the church, as can be seen right throughout the letter to the Ephesians. For Paul, the church is not a human institution or a Sunday morning club. No, it is something of cosmic significance, the Bride that the Son of God died to redeem.

So the cross is not just about setting individual sinners free from Hell. That is important, but it is not just that.

When Jesus died, he had in view a church, a race of people that transcends every human division of race, sex or economic class. This is something new that has never been seen in all of creation. A people who are cleansed from every sin and now stand perfectly re-created in holiness and perfection.

Christ will present the church to himself. It seems an odd expression as we usually think of someone or something being presented to someone else. Jesus gave his life for the church, and so He can rightly presented to himself. It is His possession, His trophy, His property.

The church is presented to Christ in Splendour. In Greek the word used here derives from “doxa” the word usually translated as “glory”. The church is presented in glory, not her own glory but the glory of God.

Like a bride cleaned up, wearing makeup, wearing the finest of clothes, and looking radiant, so the church is presented to Christ as “splendid.”

We are all too aware of the failings of various expressions of church. Pastors fail, sometimes in terrible and abusive ways. People can be hypocritical and self-righteous. Church can be a cover for child abuse.

But all of that will pass away. The church in its divine calling is something glorious. We might see the grime and dirt, but God sees the hidden splendour.

The church will be without a spot or wrinkle. Not even the smallest of imperfections distract from the true beauty of the church. All of the things that make us despair, the hurtful and criminal things, will be taken away, and the church will be perfect in appearance and in nature. We can be sure of that because of the holiness of God.

We are called to be holy as he is holy. We are set apart for God’s purposes. This calling to holiness will be realised. At the moment, in this life, we are being fashioned into holiness. we are being moulded, crafted, purposed to take a particular position in the church, in the temple which God is creating (Ephesians 2:21-22)

Our destiny is that the church will ultimately be without blemish. This means that every christian, every member of the church, will be without blemish. In this age we struggle with many temptations and fall prey to many sins, but in the age to come, every one of us will be without sin. The things that attract us will no longer seem desirable. We will truly be holy and without blemish.

Key points in this verse:

• Christ has a goal for the church to be splendid comma without any imperfection.
• Salvation is about more than individuals, but a whole body, a bride for Christ
• All of the messy imperfections in the church and in every christian will be completely washed away

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:26. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:26

“… that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

This verse continues the thought of the previous verse, that Christ gave himself up for the church, in order to sanctify her.

Christ is sanctifying the church, that is making it holy. The church is the ekklesia, that is the assembly of people “called out” by God. It is the elect, the chosen ones.

In that since, the church is already holy or set apart for God. This is why Paul describes it is a temple earlier in the letter .

But in another sense, the church is in a process of being sanctified. Each christian must undergo a life long process of being refined and made fit for heaven. This process only concludes when we are promoted to glory and see God for who He really is.

To be sanctified means to be cleansed of every thought and action that springs from the sinful heart of human beings. It is dying to our old nature and rising to new life in Christ.

There is a two-step process in view here.

First, He cleanses us. When we come to Christ the record of the past is wiped clean. The old is gone and the new is here. The list of all our prior sins is deleted so that every barrier between our sinful nature and the holy God is demolished.

Our soul was disfigured by the marks of our sins. Jesus remove these marks and cleanses us.

Having been cleansed, He sanctifies us. This is the ongoing process of becoming more like Christ in every part of our lives – individually and corporately as the church.

We are cleansed for a purpose. We are forgiven with a destination in mind. Some people think that cleansing is the end in itself. Their lives are a repeated cycle of temptation, sin, confession, forgiveness. They repeat the same sins endlessly because they fail to see that the goal is not forgiveness but holiness.

The Lord does not want us to just be cleansed today but to stay clean in a life dedicated to God’s purposes .

Paul mentions two instruments of cleansing and sanctification.

The first is water, that is baptism. Baptism marks a transition from sinner to saint. It is a public declaration that a person is dedicating themselves to following Christ .

Baptism does not carry sanctifying grace in itself. There is nothing in the external element of water that carries particular grace. However, when combined with the faith of the believer and of the gathered saints, it becomes the instrument of cleansing. The Holy Spirit becomes powerfully present in the act through the faith of the church.

The second instrument mentioned here is the word. The word is the word of scripture read, proclaimed and expounded by the church.

When we first come to Christ, the promise of forgiveness contained in the Bible is what brings our spirit to life. The Bible becomes a living word which points us to salvation .

As we mature in faith, the scriptures serve to convict us of sin and point to a higher way. As we seek to follow Christ more accurately, the Holy Spirit gives us grace to do so.

We might ask how this applies to husbands. Without pressing the analogy too far, there is a sense in which the faith of a man or woman can help to draw their spouse to a deeper relationship with God.

A husband is not Christ to his wife. However, his faithfulness to Christ, his example of submitting his life to the Lord, his surrender to God’s purposes, and his tender love for his wife, all help to illustrate for her what it means to be cleansed and sanctified. Of course this is a two-way street in which both partners encourage each other to holiness.

Key points in this verse:

• We are cleansed in order to be sanctified, forgiven to become holy
• The Holy Spirit uses the water of baptism and the reading of the word to make us holy
• Husbands are to help their wives become holy to the Lord

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:25. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Paul now turns to the husband’s responsibility in marriage relationships.

While husbands are to be subject to their wives as stated in verse 22, they have the additional requirement of loving their wives as Christ loved the church. As we read this and the subsequent verses, Paul switches rapidly between church, Christ, wives, and husbands so that it is at times difficult to tell which is the illustration and which is the subject. In Paul’s mind the relationship between marriage and the church goes both ways, each illustrating the other.

The word for love that Paul uses here is the verb form of agape. We might have expected that he would use the word “eros” to describe marital love. This word refers to passionate. sexual love. He could have used phileo which means affection between family members or friends.

PAUL uses the word which describes the love that God has for his people. Husbands are to love their wives in exactly the same way that Christ loves the church.

Agape love is love that flows from the lover to the loved regardless of their response. It is love that is entirely selfless and interested only in the health, prosperity, and well-being of the person loved. Agape love never ends and never gives up.

The most poignant example of agape love, apart from Christ, is the Old Testament prophet Hosea. This man was directed by God to marry a prostitute named Gomer. After sometime, she returned to her old ways and ultimately became a slave. When Hosea saw this, he bought her back (literally redeemed her) so that she could be his wife again.

This is an illustration of God’s love for his people and the expectation of the love that husbands must have for their wives .

Because God’s love is unconditional, the love that a husband has for his wife must also be unconditional. Even if a wife refuses to submit to him or to God, a husband must love his wife.

Paul uses the specific example of Christ’s giving of himself for the church. Christ sacrificed himself, handing himself over to be crucified in order for sinful people to be redeemed and reconciled to the Father.

Husbands, then, must lay down their lives for their wives. This is not a physical act of suicide, but a metaphor that says every selfish ambition a man might have is put to death for the sake of loving his wife.

There is no lording it over a submissive wife in this relationship. A man who has died to self for the sake of his wife will have no need or desire to reign as a despot.

If the wife should be unfaithful, then both Christ and Hosea point to a love that keeps on seeking reconciliation regardless of the cost.

Key points in this verse:

• The love of a husband for his wife is meant to be identical to the love of Christ for the church
• Hosea’s love is an example of God’s love for the church and therefore of a christian husband’s love for his wife.
• Husbands must never give up on their wives