Here is my commentary on Ephesians 4:32. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Having written about the deeds of malice, anger, and slander, exhorting us to take these things off, Paul now tells us what put on in their place.

We are to be kind to one another.

Kindness could be described as love in action. Love is not a romantic feeling or a favourable disposition to another person. It is practical.

To be kind is to see what a person needs and to help them to gain it, whether in the form of a gift, through encouraging words, or by practical help.

To be kind means to be giving. We are concerned about the needs of others just as much as we are concerned about our own needs.

Of the early church, it was said, “there were no needy people amongst them for from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone in need.” (Acts 4:34-35). This is kindness on a big scale, people working to ensure that nobody is left out.

We are to be compassionate to one another . Some translations render this word as tenderhearted.

To be compassionate or tenderhearted to others is to empathise with their emotions and to react appropriately.

Kindness can be performed in a mechanical way, out of duty or habit. Tenderheartedness or compassion, demands an emotional involvement. We need to feel the heart of another person, to enter into their head space.

There are many so-called caring services these days. However the caring cuts out at 5 pm or whenever the service closes. People working in these fields are coached in not getting too close, establishing boundaries, and so on.

While there is a place for professional detachment, Paul is encouraging us to go deeper with one another. He wants us to be attached not detached, to be emotive in our caring and not leave it all behind at an office, taking weekends off.

When I see a Christian brother or sister in distress, I must be kind and tenderhearted, reacting out of compassion and love.

We are to forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven us.

Forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness.

Forgiveness is letting go of offences that others have committed against us in the past.

When we come to Christ seeking forgiveness, He wipes the slate clean. There is no longer any outstanding debt. There is not even a record kept of the sin. He no longer holds anything against us.

Forgiveness means that we no longer hold a sin against the person who has offended us. We let go of the hurt, the anger, and the sense that we are owed something .

Our forgiveness of others must be unconditional, just as his forgiveness of us Is unconditional. He does not wait for us to apologise to forgive, and neither should we.

Some might ask, “What about the need to confess and repent in order to be forgiven?” The truth is that confession is for our benefit not for God’s. It brings us to reconciliation rather than forgiveness, fellowship rather than exoneration.

When we forgive someone we are not saying that the offence was not significant. We are rather conforming our own attitude to that of the Father who chooses to forgive for the sake of fellowship.

Some sins are too severe to just “ forgive and forget” because the hurt to our soul is too great. Over time, we receive healing for our pain, and one key step in that healing is to forgive.

To forgive those who sin against us is to acknowledge that we too have been forgiven much. To forgive is to recognise that we have no right to keep a record of the wrongs of others.

Key points in this verse

• We are to be kind and compassionate to others. Love has to be practical and exercised from the heart, not merely as a duty
• To forgive others is to imitate Christ who forgives us
• Forgiveness means to let go of the right to be offended
• We must forgive regardless of whether the person expresses remorse
• Forgiveness means that we do not keep score

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 4:31. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 4:31

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

Paul returns to listing sins that we need to put away in order to be faithful to Christ. In particular these sins are things that undermine unity in the Body of Christ. They not only put individuals down, but they destroy the Church and run counter to the teachings of Christ.

Bitterness is the cultivation of anger long after the event that has sparked the anger. A brother offends me, and I continue to be angry and refuse to forgive him. This is called bitterness .

In November 1975, the Australian prime minister, Gough Whitlam, was removed from office by the Governor- General under unique circumstances. Whitlam called upon his followers to “ maintain the rage.” Some of them remained bitter many years and decades after the event.

Followers of Christ have been forgiven their sins. We have a duty, therefore, to forgive those who trespass against us. It is there in the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 4:12) and in parables such as The Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35).

Refusal to forgive our Christian brothers and sisters is bitterness, and may bring down upon us the judgement of God.

Rage is the uncontrolled passion that seeks to destroy out of vengeance. It can be irrational in its expression, and is always destructive. It may be expressed as violence or as a verbal spray of hatred and insults.

This kind of anger is never acceptable to God. One of the works of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer is to bring healing of the wounds that produce rage and to replace it with peace and self-control.

The Greek word for anger is orge which is also used of the anger of God against sin, and of the righteous anger of people against sin. It can also apply to unrighteous anger in which we are not so much perturbed by the sins of others as by threats to ourselves.

At its best, this kind of anger can motivate and drive a person to seek justice and righteousness on behalf of others. It can sustain a campaign for change over months and years.

At its worst, though, anger is directed against individuals or groups of people. The supposed misdeeds of others become forgotten, and the people themselves become the objects of anger.

This kind of anger is bad because it keeps us separated from others. The love of God draws people together, but anger keeps us apart.

Anger can be focused on differences over worship styles or doctrine. It can be expressed through discipline processes such as “shunning” in which the righteous people refuse to have fellowship with sinners.

The word translated as “brawling” in the NIV may be better translated as clamour. Brawling suggests an all- in physical fight which is rare in churches. Not so rare is the noisy, pushy form of speech which refuses to be quiet and to listen to differing points of view.

Clamour can be a defensive reaction in which we try to shout down those we disagree with. In an argument it could be name-calling, or accusations such as ”you said this.” When it is in full flight, this clamour is much like the reaction of small children when called to account for their actions.

Clamour refuses to listen to other points of view. It makes a noisy appeal for its own opinion. It uses sound and fury to keep others at a distance, and to demand its own way .

Clamour is the language of the street demonstration which demands action and demeans opponents. Clamour is the noise of the Twitter mob which closes down all opposition by demanding that people be silenced .

As Christians we must always remember that our brother whom we oppose is also someone whom God loves and for whom Christ died.

Slander is speech which undermines a person’s reputation. It takes many forms from name calling to false accusations .

Gossip is a form of slander. Humans love to hear and pass on to others details of the weaknesses of other people. We hear a claim about someone, add in our own Insights, and pretty quickly a person’s reputation is shredded.

Slander can be true or it can be false. Lies about people can be readily believed because they may not be easily controverted. Even when true, people can make all kinds of statements about others without a context that might offer explanation.

Whether true or false, deliberate or not, slander is not based in love. We believe the worst about a person, makes suppositions about their motives, and then spread our conclusions far and wide.

We are to love our brothers and sisters. We should seek to build up their dignity and worth, and not pull it down.

Finally, we are to get rid of every form of malice. Every action or speech that is directed against another person must be removed from our operating system.

If I want to act badly or speak ill of another person, then I am not loving them. The great commandments, Jesus tells us, are to love God and love our neighbour.

Malice is the opposite of love. While love values another person, malice devalues the other. While love acts to advance the interests of another, malice seeks to harm them.

Key points in this verse:

• We are to actively remove from our lives all actions, words, and attitudes that seek to harm other people
• Forgiveness of others is an essential part of living for Christ
• Rage is never acceptable to God
• We must ensure that righteous anger against Injustice does not turn into anger against people
• Love draws us together, but anger separates us
• Slander and gossip can destroy the reputations of other people
• Malice is the opposite of love. We must build others up, not pull them down.