Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:2-3. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:2-3

“Honour your father and mother- this is the first commandment with a promise- “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

The instruction to obey parents is now backed up by reference to the Ten Commandments. “Honour your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

In the New Testament age, the Jews were scattered around the nations, and many did not understand Hebrew. The version of the Old Testament most widely known was the Greek version called the Septuagint. This version was not only translated from Hebrew to Greek, it was adapted a little for the readers who were dispersed and not located only in Israel.

This verse as quoted by Paul is the Septuagint version which replaces “ the land the Lord is giving you” with “ the earth”. From being a promise that originally meant that honouring parents would enable the Hebrew people to live long in Israel, it is now a promise for an extended lifespan regardless of geographic locaiton.

For any nation, orderly and stable family relationships are basic. We know in our own situation that single parent families are generally less stable and less prosperous then families headed by a married couple. For all kinds of reasons, a broken family leads to shorter lifespans.

This is more than a promise to individuals. It is a promise to people groups. Formation of stable families leads to stronger communities, more resilient in the face of natural disaster and conflicts .

Children can understand that if they obey their parents, they can contribute to the stability and prosperity of the family through the blessing of the lord.

There has been some questioning of the statement by Paul that this is the first commandment with a promise. They point to the second commandment regarding idolatry: “ You shall not make for yourself any Idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of their parents, to the third and fourth generations of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who loves me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:4-6)

This commandment is not so much a promise as a statement about the nature of God. He does punish those who commit iniquity and He does bless those who obey him, and both of these consequences go through generations.

Another explanation of this is that the structure of Paul’s sentence allows a translation along the lines of “This is a commandment of priority for you and it has a promise.”

However we interpret the meaning of this verse, it is true that there is a promise for all who honour their parents. God promises that things will go well for us and we will live long in the earth.

One may ask what are the boundaries of the command to obey or honour one’s parents? As was stated in the previous verse, we must not obey our parents at the expense of obeying Christ. However, we can, and should, maintain a disposition of honour even while maintaining our fidelity to the Lord.

Key points in these verses:

• Honouring parents is one of the Ten Commandments that carries a promise
• Stable families lead to longer life and prosperity, as well as to stronger communities

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 6:1. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 6:1

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Paul moves from the mutual submission of husbands and wives to the relationship of parents and their children.

In many parts of the ancient world, children were not regarded as autonomous individuals as they often are in the modern world. They were generally seen as empty vessels which needed to be filled with the family’s ways and values. For example, a father would train a son in his trade in the expectation that the son would grow up to help run the family enterprise, and perhaps take it on himself at some stage. A good child was one who became a copy of his father.

The word used for child here is the Greek word teknon, which can mean a son or daughter of any age. Children have a responsibility to “obey” their parents even when they themselves are adults.

The word translated as “obey” in many English translations actually has the broader sense of paying attention or listening. To obey means that we listen and then follow an instruction.

While young children need to understand the importance of obeying their parents, for those who are adults themselves the emphasis is on listening and paying attention. As adults, we still have obligations to our parents, but this obligation is more aligned with listening to their experience and gaining wisdom from them.

To obey our parents in the Lord means that we should count acts of obedience as a service to the Lord. Little children may not have too many opportunities to serve the Lord, but obeying parents is one such way.

Remembering that this letter is written to a church, it is probable that most children hearing this instruction would be from homes where at least one parent is themselves a follower of Jesus. To obey parents ”in the Lord,” then, means to believe that the parents are acting on behalf of the Lord in their intentions and instructions.

For older children and adults, the expression “in the Lord” is a reminder that all of our decisions have to be weighed up against the requirements of God. Our faithfulness to our family must never lead to sinning against the Lord. Our first loyalty is always to Christ.

Paul concludes this verse with the words ”for this is right.” It is the morally correct thing to obey our parents. We teach our children from a very young age that it is right to obey those in authority. We may later question the rightness of parents and other authorities in some of these decisions. However, our first response should be that it is right to obey.

To question and disregard all the instructions of people in authority leads to lawlessness in which everybody does what they like in the moment. This is contrary to God’s plan for humanity.

Key points in this verse:

• Children of all ages should listen to their parents
• To obey our parents is a way in which we may obey the Lord
• Adults need to obey their parents to the extent that they do not contradict the way of the Lord

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:32-33. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:32-33

“This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.”

These verses serve a summary of what has gone before in terms of marital relationships and the mutual submission of husband and wife.

The unity between a man and a wife (“one flesh”) is a great mystery, Paul writes. A mystery is something hidden but now revealed. To understand the relationship of a husband and wife needs the illumination of Christ’s relationship with the Church.

These two things, the human marital relationship and the relationship of Christ to His Body, illuminate and explain each other . It is not surprising that the Church is described as the Bride of Christ (see for example Revelation 19).

Christ is the Head of His church and He exercises that by first dying for it. The headship of a husband with respect to his wife starts with the husband laying his life down, and only then can he exercise leadership in a loving relationship.

When we see the deep love and united vision of a husband and a wife, our eyes are opened to the unity that exists between Christ and the church.

This interplay between the two realities is shown by the way Paul freely changes from one to the other in this entire section.

So Paul concludes with the exhortation for each man to love his wife and for each wife to respect her husband.

Though Paul uses different words – love and respect- the illustration of Christ and the church shows that they are the same idea in practice.

Christ died for his church; but the church dies to Christ in order to be born again. Both husband and wife lay down everything for the other.

Paul again uses the word agape as the love that husbands should have for their wives. This is the love that God shows towards us, his people. It is the unfailing love that gives regardless of the worthiness of the recipient. Husbands must seek to love their wives with the agape love of God.

Wives are to respect their husbands. The word here is phobos . It literally means fear. This is not the terror kind of fear, but the kind of fear with which we are told we should fear God and those in authority over us. It is the respect that is given because of the status of the person.

In any event, to love a wife includes respect. Respect for a husband also involves loving them.

Key points in this verse:

• The unity of husband and wife reflect the love between Christ and His church
• Headship comes from a place of self sacrifice
• The love and respect which husbands and wives are exhorted to show overlap and become the same thing.

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:31. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

At last Paul quotes the scripture, Genesis 2:24, that he has been considering all through this discussion about husbands and wives.

This single verse is the most profound sentence describing the reality of God’s plan for marriage in all of the Bible. It is so all-encompassing that Jesus did not need to add to it in his teaching.

Genesis 2:24 comes at the completion of the creation story. The woman was created from a rib taken out of Adam. It is “for this reason” that a man and a woman are joined and become one flesh. Adam and Eve were created as “ one flesh”, and marriage is in a sense a consummation of this origin.

For Christians and Jews alike, marriage is an existential institution. It goes to the heart of what it means to be human.

Marriage, then, is more than a social construct or a convenient way of binding people together for the purpose of rearing children. It is far more than a contract between equal adults and something that can be left at will.

This verse underlies the reluctance of the church to embrace divorce.”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:9). If a man and a woman have been joined by God as one flesh, than any divorce is a judgement that God was wrong.

The same verse speaks against adultery and the plethora of sexual sins humans have imagined. To commit adultery is to sin against one’s own spouse and therefore one’s own flesh, as well as those of the other party. In Genesis 1, creation is described as separating things that should not be mixed, but adultery is seen as a destructive force that mixes together bonds and people that should not be mixed.

Marriage in the Scriptures is always about one man and one woman. Where polygamy is practised, it is seen as destructive because it runs against the “one flesh” narrative.

Similarly, same sex “marriage” is not just an abomination, but a contradiction. A man and a woman can become one flesh, but two men or two women cannot. Therefore, to call such a relationship a marriage runs against God’s intention.

To speak of a man and a woman as being “one flesh” is not linked only to the sexual relationship or even just to the wider sense of physical intimacy that couples enjoy. To be “ one flesh” means to share the same goals, vision, and mission in life. While they may have divergent interests and abilities, they will submit their life ambitions to the Lord and to one another, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead their joint enterprise. A husband and wife should see themselves as a team called into existence by God for a purpose that is greater than their individual purposes.

An example of this might be a nurse and engineer who see as a couple mission opportunities that complement and support one another. A wife with a strong prophetic ministry might empower a husband who is pastoral, and vice versa.

For a couple to be one flesh they must first leave their father and mother. While our relationships and obligations to parents remain after we marry, we must never allow allegiances to our parents get in the way of joining to our spouse. We must leave in order to cleave, to quote from an older translation of this verse.

Parents also must allow their children to leave, letting go of their emotional ties. There is no surer way to undermine a marriage then for parents to relentlessly intervene.

Key points in this verse:

• Marriage is an expression of the original creation of Adam and eve
• Divorce is a tearing apart of the single body formed in marriage
• Adultery and other sexual sins betray our own bodies as well as those of others
• Same sex “marriage” is a contradiction in terms
• Children must leave her parents in order to be joined to their spouse

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:29-30. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:29-30

“For no one ever hates his own body, but he know where is it and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church, because we are members of his body.”

Paul continues his instructions to husbands regarding their wives, and the analogy of Christ and the church.

No one ever hates his own body. It is in our self-interest to care for our body in the best way possible.

We nourish our body, doing what we can to make sure that we eat quality food and try to get the quantity right. In the ancient world, food security was not a known concept. There were periods of plenty, and periods drought or war made food scarce. Our problem is that there is always more than enough available to nourish the body which means that we have to choose the way of discipline.

We tenderly care for our bodies. When we are sick or injured, we seek out medical help. When we have pain we might change our work habits or the way we walk in order to minimise the pain. We tenderly care for our bodies because we know they are essential to our well-being.

Paul is saying that men need to treat their wives in the same way that they treat their own bodies. To love your wife is to love yourself (see v. 28), so therefore care for her with the same diligence that you care for your own body.

Just as a man takes a proactive attitude to his body (nourishing it) as well as a defensive or reactive approach (tenderly caring for it), a husband must both encourage or edify his wife, as well as protecting or reacting to threats of spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.

In this view of the marital relationship, all forms of domestic violence – coercion, physical abuse, emotional control, and financial deprivation – are prohibited. We don’t hate our own bodies, so how could a husband hate his wife? Domestic violence is not the topic here, but it is certainly within the scope of this “one flesh” analogy.

Paul now switches back to the relationship of Christ to the church. Christ loves his Body. He nurtures it and tenderly cares for it. We would not expect anything else from the one who came down and died to redeem the church. Having done that, He would, of course, continue to look after it.

So Christ nourishes the Body through the Word which is the Bread of Life. The Bible, when made freely available to the Body of Christ and preached faithfully by its pastors, provides all the requirements to sustain the life of the church.

The ministers of the church – the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers (Ephesians 4:1)- tenderly care for the body, providing protection from the attacks of the devil, as well as building up the weak and hurting parts of the Body.

All Christians are members of Christ’s body. Every believer has been Incorporated into this cosmic entity called the Church or the Body of Christ.

There is no such thing as an “ordinary” christian, any more than there is an “ordinary” husband or wife. We are all handcrafted masterpieces created for a purpose. Our membership of this Body affects our relationships, particularly marriage, and is not just for our heavenly destiny.

There are no “Lone Ranger” christians living apart from the Body, any more than there are legs or arms, eyes or noses, that live apart from a human body. We all belong to something much bigger than ourselves.

Key points in this verse:

• Husbands must care for their wives with as much diligence as they care for their own bodies
• We nourish and tenderly care for our bodies so therefore we must build up and protect our wives
• Christ cares for His Body in the same wayMinisters help to tenderly care for the body of Christ
• All Christians are members of Christ’s Body and cannot thrive apart from it