Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:28. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:28

“In the same way men should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Just as Christ loves the church and continues to make the church holy, so husbands must love their wives.

The word used for love here is not eros, the normal word for romantic love, but agape, the love that God has for his people. Christian husbands are not to love their wives because they are attracted to them physically, but because their wives are to be loved. Agape love gives for the sake of the beloved. It never gives up and does not keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13).

Marital love then is to mirror God’s love in being perfect and unchanging.

Just as we love our own bodies, husbands are to love their wives. We are usually acutely aware of the needs of our bodies, whether we are hungry, thirsty, hot or cold, distressed, or in pain. We unconsciously monitor the state of our bodies with our various senses. When something is awry we take remedial steps. We might even take preventive steps, for example putting on a coat before we get too cold.

Husbands should have the same awareness of the needs of their wives that we have for our own body. This includes not just the bodily needs, but also the emotional, social, and spiritual needs that she has.

This is not to suggest some kind of controlling policy where the husband micromanages every part of his wife’s life, being the sole provider of everything she might need.

Rather, this is a sensitivity to a wife’s needs in the same way that we are sensitive to our own needs.

The question that is at the heart of this instruction is, “How can I help my wife to flourish and become all that God wants her to be?”

In verse 31, Paul explicitly references Genesis 2:24. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” But already in this verse this reference is hinted at in the expression that a man who loves his wife loves himself.

The “ one flesh” description of marriage is more than the shallow “happy wife happy life” mantra. It suggests that in marriage a spiritual union is made under the hand of God. This union means that marriage is more than a convenience or a legal institution.

Unity in marriage is such that when one partner flourishes so does the other. When one is struggling so is the other. The marriage bond is more than two individuals coming together. It is a new creation.

Key points in this verse:

• husbands are to love their wives in the same way Christ loves the church
• husbands must love their wives with the self-giving agape love of god
• husbands should concern themselves above all with their wife’s physical, spiritual and emotional well-being

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:27. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:27

“… so as to present the church to himself in splendour, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind – yes so that she might be holy and without blemish.”

In the previous verses, we read that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy. Now the ultimate purpose of this is so that He can present the church to Himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish .

Paul has a high view of the church, as can be seen right throughout the letter to the Ephesians. For Paul, the church is not a human institution or a Sunday morning club. No, it is something of cosmic significance, the Bride that the Son of God died to redeem.

So the cross is not just about setting individual sinners free from Hell. That is important, but it is not just that.

When Jesus died, he had in view a church, a race of people that transcends every human division of race, sex or economic class. This is something new that has never been seen in all of creation. A people who are cleansed from every sin and now stand perfectly re-created in holiness and perfection.

Christ will present the church to himself. It seems an odd expression as we usually think of someone or something being presented to someone else. Jesus gave his life for the church, and so He can rightly presented to himself. It is His possession, His trophy, His property.

The church is presented to Christ in Splendour. In Greek the word used here derives from “doxa” the word usually translated as “glory”. The church is presented in glory, not her own glory but the glory of God.

Like a bride cleaned up, wearing makeup, wearing the finest of clothes, and looking radiant, so the church is presented to Christ as “splendid.”

We are all too aware of the failings of various expressions of church. Pastors fail, sometimes in terrible and abusive ways. People can be hypocritical and self-righteous. Church can be a cover for child abuse.

But all of that will pass away. The church in its divine calling is something glorious. We might see the grime and dirt, but God sees the hidden splendour.

The church will be without a spot or wrinkle. Not even the smallest of imperfections distract from the true beauty of the church. All of the things that make us despair, the hurtful and criminal things, will be taken away, and the church will be perfect in appearance and in nature. We can be sure of that because of the holiness of God.

We are called to be holy as he is holy. We are set apart for God’s purposes. This calling to holiness will be realised. At the moment, in this life, we are being fashioned into holiness. we are being moulded, crafted, purposed to take a particular position in the church, in the temple which God is creating (Ephesians 2:21-22)

Our destiny is that the church will ultimately be without blemish. This means that every christian, every member of the church, will be without blemish. In this age we struggle with many temptations and fall prey to many sins, but in the age to come, every one of us will be without sin. The things that attract us will no longer seem desirable. We will truly be holy and without blemish.

Key points in this verse:

• Christ has a goal for the church to be splendid comma without any imperfection.
• Salvation is about more than individuals, but a whole body, a bride for Christ
• All of the messy imperfections in the church and in every christian will be completely washed away

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:26. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:26

“… that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

This verse continues the thought of the previous verse, that Christ gave himself up for the church, in order to sanctify her.

Christ is sanctifying the church, that is making it holy. The church is the ekklesia, that is the assembly of people “called out” by God. It is the elect, the chosen ones.

In that since, the church is already holy or set apart for God. This is why Paul describes it is a temple earlier in the letter .

But in another sense, the church is in a process of being sanctified. Each christian must undergo a life long process of being refined and made fit for heaven. This process only concludes when we are promoted to glory and see God for who He really is.

To be sanctified means to be cleansed of every thought and action that springs from the sinful heart of human beings. It is dying to our old nature and rising to new life in Christ.

There is a two-step process in view here.

First, He cleanses us. When we come to Christ the record of the past is wiped clean. The old is gone and the new is here. The list of all our prior sins is deleted so that every barrier between our sinful nature and the holy God is demolished.

Our soul was disfigured by the marks of our sins. Jesus remove these marks and cleanses us.

Having been cleansed, He sanctifies us. This is the ongoing process of becoming more like Christ in every part of our lives – individually and corporately as the church.

We are cleansed for a purpose. We are forgiven with a destination in mind. Some people think that cleansing is the end in itself. Their lives are a repeated cycle of temptation, sin, confession, forgiveness. They repeat the same sins endlessly because they fail to see that the goal is not forgiveness but holiness.

The Lord does not want us to just be cleansed today but to stay clean in a life dedicated to God’s purposes .

Paul mentions two instruments of cleansing and sanctification.

The first is water, that is baptism. Baptism marks a transition from sinner to saint. It is a public declaration that a person is dedicating themselves to following Christ .

Baptism does not carry sanctifying grace in itself. There is nothing in the external element of water that carries particular grace. However, when combined with the faith of the believer and of the gathered saints, it becomes the instrument of cleansing. The Holy Spirit becomes powerfully present in the act through the faith of the church.

The second instrument mentioned here is the word. The word is the word of scripture read, proclaimed and expounded by the church.

When we first come to Christ, the promise of forgiveness contained in the Bible is what brings our spirit to life. The Bible becomes a living word which points us to salvation .

As we mature in faith, the scriptures serve to convict us of sin and point to a higher way. As we seek to follow Christ more accurately, the Holy Spirit gives us grace to do so.

We might ask how this applies to husbands. Without pressing the analogy too far, there is a sense in which the faith of a man or woman can help to draw their spouse to a deeper relationship with God.

A husband is not Christ to his wife. However, his faithfulness to Christ, his example of submitting his life to the Lord, his surrender to God’s purposes, and his tender love for his wife, all help to illustrate for her what it means to be cleansed and sanctified. Of course this is a two-way street in which both partners encourage each other to holiness.

Key points in this verse:

• We are cleansed in order to be sanctified, forgiven to become holy
• The Holy Spirit uses the water of baptism and the reading of the word to make us holy
• Husbands are to help their wives become holy to the Lord

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:25. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Paul now turns to the husband’s responsibility in marriage relationships.

While husbands are to be subject to their wives as stated in verse 22, they have the additional requirement of loving their wives as Christ loved the church. As we read this and the subsequent verses, Paul switches rapidly between church, Christ, wives, and husbands so that it is at times difficult to tell which is the illustration and which is the subject. In Paul’s mind the relationship between marriage and the church goes both ways, each illustrating the other.

The word for love that Paul uses here is the verb form of agape. We might have expected that he would use the word “eros” to describe marital love. This word refers to passionate. sexual love. He could have used phileo which means affection between family members or friends.

PAUL uses the word which describes the love that God has for his people. Husbands are to love their wives in exactly the same way that Christ loves the church.

Agape love is love that flows from the lover to the loved regardless of their response. It is love that is entirely selfless and interested only in the health, prosperity, and well-being of the person loved. Agape love never ends and never gives up.

The most poignant example of agape love, apart from Christ, is the Old Testament prophet Hosea. This man was directed by God to marry a prostitute named Gomer. After sometime, she returned to her old ways and ultimately became a slave. When Hosea saw this, he bought her back (literally redeemed her) so that she could be his wife again.

This is an illustration of God’s love for his people and the expectation of the love that husbands must have for their wives .

Because God’s love is unconditional, the love that a husband has for his wife must also be unconditional. Even if a wife refuses to submit to him or to God, a husband must love his wife.

Paul uses the specific example of Christ’s giving of himself for the church. Christ sacrificed himself, handing himself over to be crucified in order for sinful people to be redeemed and reconciled to the Father.

Husbands, then, must lay down their lives for their wives. This is not a physical act of suicide, but a metaphor that says every selfish ambition a man might have is put to death for the sake of loving his wife.

There is no lording it over a submissive wife in this relationship. A man who has died to self for the sake of his wife will have no need or desire to reign as a despot.

If the wife should be unfaithful, then both Christ and Hosea point to a love that keeps on seeking reconciliation regardless of the cost.

Key points in this verse:

• The love of a husband for his wife is meant to be identical to the love of Christ for the church
• Hosea’s love is an example of God’s love for the church and therefore of a christian husband’s love for his wife.
• Husbands must never give up on their wives

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:24. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:24

“Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

The church is the Body of Christ, the holy temple, the household of God. By its very nature the church is subject to Christ.

There are times when the church as an institution has been corrupted by politics and an exaggerated power over the state. This was particularly true in the Middle Ages in Europe. It is also true that parts of the church have departed from sound doctrine and biblical standards of behaviour.

But the true church is not necessarily the same as the ecclesiastical structure. The church is the total of the individuals who are truly born again and submitted to Christ.

The submission of the church to Christ is a living, dynamic process. The born again people who comprise the church have the indwelling Holy Spirit directing and leading them. This is not about following a set of rules carved in stone and handed down from on high. When Christian submit themselves to Christ, they do so in the context of relationship. We submit ourselves to Christ out of love and because we have the Holy Spirit in us.

Wives submitting themselves to their husbands, then, do so out of love for Christ and in submission to Him They submit to their husbands in the context of a loving relationship involving husband, wife, and Christ.

Those who are of the world fail to look at this context. They see the word “submit” and assume it means “obey” and, in particular, to obey without thinking. This interpretation overlooks the key aspect that both parties are subject to Christ.

The phrase “in everything” seems to say that unconditional obedience is required. But again context is important. Wives are not required to do anything illegal, ungodly, degrading, or against their conscience. A husband who demands that his wife engage in life threatening behaviour is not acting in love, and the wife should not submit to this.

We could produce a great list of things that are wife must not, or may not, submit to. The point is that submission “in everything” does not mean slavish obedience.

Where a husband engages in violent, abusive, or coercive behaviour, it is not against God’s intent for a woman to leave the relationship, seek outside help, or go to the police. Marriage is a covenant of love, and when one partner breaks that covenant, the other partner is no longer bound.

All of this is straightforward where both husband and wife are followers of Jesus. In many marriages, the christian wife is married to an unbelieving husband. How should wifely submission happen in these cases?

It has been stated previously that wives are to be subject to their husbands out of reference (or fear) for Christ (vs. 21-22). Where both husband and wife are christians there is a mutuality of submission included within the concept of headship.

Peter gives wise advice for all wives: “Wives in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives conduct, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)

Regardless of whether their husbands are believers, christian women should seek to submit themselves as an expression of love for their husband and for Christ. This can be a very powerful witness over many years in a marriage.

Key points in this verse:

• The church submits to Christ joyfully .
• Wives should submit to their husbands in the same way.
• Christian marriage involves mutual submission
• While Paul says wives must submit in everything, this is not absolute blind obedience.
• When a husband is an unbeliever, his wife’s loving submission can be a witness to him.

Here is my commentary on Ephesians 5:23. I am publishing these once or twice a week, but you can read all of the available articles at our web-site, http://www.new-life.org.au

Ephesians 5:23

“For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Saviour.”

This verse raises many questions which need to be carefully thought through:

• What does it mean for the husband to be the head of the wife?
• In what ways is the headship of a husband like the headship of Christ over the church?
• How do we interpret this verse in the current culture in which women generally are more educated and more independent than in previous generations?

In Greek, the word kephale means “head”, and has a similar range of meaning to the English word. It can relate to the physical part of the body, the main part of something, a ruler, or principal officer.

To say that the husband is the head of a wife, then, is to suggest that he has authority over her. This is not an authority that is seized, demanded, or extracted by intimidation.

Godly leadership or headship is a form of service in which a person gives direction in order to promote the person being led. Jesus said that the one who leads must be the servant of all (Luke 22:25-26).

Husbands exercise their authority by serving their wives. This is not pandering to every whim, but recognising what they need in order to grow in Christ and to grow as people, and then to provide what is needed.

Christian headship is not demanding or self-focused, but other- focused and giving.

Some people prescribe what this should look like. The husband exercises headship, they say, by managing the money, driving the car, earning the income etc. Couples should work out their own strengths, and if the wife has a better grasp of finances, she should be the one who keeps track of the money.

Headship and submission are about attitudes of relating in love, not about external factors.

If we think about the authority of Christ over the church, we can apply this to the authority of husbands over their wives, since Paul makes this comparison.

Christians are under the headship of Christ. To die to ourselves is the definition of discipleship. Yet, in submitting ourselves to Christ, Christians retain a high degree of autonomy and individuality. We have different ways of serving the Lord, different ways of worship, different approaches to prayer and ministry. Yet Christ is the head of all.

Furthermore, Christ is not harsh in his headship. When we rebel and go our own way, He does not punish us or remove us from the Body. He waits patiently, wooing us back to him.

The leadership of Christ over the church is gentle, often descriptive rather than prescriptive. He leads us by means of suggestions and encouragement rather than by laws and regulations.

So when Paul says that the husband is the head over the wife, he is not advocating a form of domestic tyranny. Rather it is a form of service and leadership that recognises that both partners are subject to Christ, both are children of God, and both are flawed human beings.

The concept of headship in marriage, that men should take any form of leadership in the relationship, will be scorned bye our society. Individualism without any restraint is the ideology of this age. People who mock marital submission see marriage as an opt in and opt out arrangement, with no expectation of long-term commitment.

Until people are prepared to submit to Christ they will not want to submit to another.

While previous generations had more rigid roles for partners in marriage, they also tended to be more committed to the permanence of the relationship. Our present age tends to see relationships as sources of personal fulfilment and hence feel no compunction in leaving when the “chemistry” is no longer there. Christian marriage emphasises the covenantal nature of the relationship, so that the head cannot function without the body, and vice versa.

Key points in this verse:

• The husband is head of the wife in the same way that Christ is head of the church
• Headship is outward-directed and aims to serve the wife
• Headship is not about tyranny, but involves gentle persuasive leadership
• Society scorns the concept of leadership in marriage, but it remains essential